Not the Destiny Line

Jakarta, 08 June 2023

Sometimes we are blinded by our ego and ambition to get something, without ever realizing that what we are trying to achieve is not something that will be entirely ours. Likewise what happened to me now, if I flashback again to the past, I really feel my efforts are in vain for someone who thinks pessimistically and only has one goal. but that useless word doesn't apply to me completely. I must have felt disappointed, sad, and angry with myself at that time, but whatever power it didn't belong to me, so I couldn't accept what I thought was happiness for me, it wasn't for God.

It feels a bit like being carried away from the past, yes, if we retell it, 2019, our separation, affected each of us mentally, and started to keep each other busy. and find their own way of life. at that time, I had just finished my first education, I really felt that my life was very empty at that time, and wanted to try to forget his figure in my life. and our separation at first I felt there was no incompatibility between me and him, because of social status for example. his family expects his son to get a life partner according to his family's wishes who are smart, and rich or capable to be precise.

And that's what made me just back off, and on the one hand I felt he didn't really believe in me, didn't really think I was valuable, and I saw him looking at me at a different frequency and not his ideal figure. also see me as conservative and not open minded. Yet the reality is not like that. I'm not someone who isn't open minded, and instead I think he's the one who's conservative in the cultural rules that his family aims for when we're together. finally 2019 I decided to continue my further education in the sense that I no longer want to sink into sadness too deep anymore, because in my way of thinking I can't walk side by side with someone who doesn't really want me. but in the end I was still optimistic at that time, and besides that my goal was to go to college so that I could be chosen by him, and wanted by his parents and family. finally I continued my life by seeking new experiences, meeting new people, going to college again and so on.

And while I was in college, I didn't just go to college, but I really proved on social media that I really want to look appropriate and appropriate if he often sees my social media, by me updating seminars, moderating seminars outside of campus activities, even me too. showing me cum laude, working very hard and hard, saving earnestly until 2022. but my feelings, ambitions, hopes were suddenly broken again and again by him.

Year 2023, suddenly he informed me, my heart was very happy, I thought he would give news to be serious with me, it turns out I was wrong, fate brought another hope, he told me to tell me on purpose that he was going to get married and how surprised I was that day came he got married right on my birthday February 4th. and he asked me to delete his contact number so we don't connect with each other.

Instantly my feelings were fragile as fragile as fragile, there I felt my feelings were messed up, how could I not, the figure that I wanted to be my life partner forever even left me without feelings. and from here I realize that no matter how strong I believe he is mine, no matter how hard I try to fight, no matter how strong my ambition is to get it if it's not the line of destiny, it won't happen, because our destiny is not what we want. but from here I really learned the meaning of self-ability to accept reality. but behind it all, I have never regretted my efforts until this moment. although then and now the goals are different. but I'm proud of myself until now to be able to go further than what I expected before.

And I believe that one day I will definitely be given someone by God with someone who really wants me, who loves me, but I can feel that figure is very close to me, and I hope I can be matched with him, he is my current partner. amen

There are Memories of Mangrove Forests

 

Jakarta, Maret 2018

there are not many words to describe this place, this place seems simple but meaningful and memorable. At first I didn't suspect that this place has its own chemistry in my life until this moment. it feels happy mixed with sadness when I have to remember memories 5 years ago, where exactly I was still in semester 7 at that time and I knew him. In the beginning, knowing him seemed normal, but after a long time it became an unforgettable moment. His figure gives color and happiness to my life that I have never felt before for anyone. I don't know in what way he can convince this heart and feel true love. He is a new color and I usually call the color giver. I once dreamed so deeply that one day I could live with him, but why was fate not on my side to be with him, all of a sudden all my hopes and dreams seemed to be forcibly erased within me. what is happening right now is letting go of himself to be happy. actually there are many things that I know about what he is hiding and he feels for me, but why am I not angry at him at all, I don't hate him at all. because if I hate him if I'm angry at him it's the same as I hate myself, it's the same as hurting myself. This Mangrove Forest taught me many things about me having to see the world, feel nature, and not be too harsh in circumstances. I say that thank you for all these life lessons for their presence in my life, thank you my best friend, friend in this world and the hereafter and forever.

Jakarta, 20 Agustus 2020

After 3 years have passed, I returned to this place, so many changes there, starting from the environment where everything changed unlike the previous year, of course for the better. but in 2020 I am not with the previous figure, but this time I am with a different figure who is still with me to this day. when I was there step by step step by step as if inviting me to go backwards. At a glance I still feel the memories but I'm trying to deny it all, and I don't want to imagine the past daydreams. let me keep it myself in this heart. I feel like crying, feel like screaming, feel like shedding tears, but I try not to look crybaby, look weak, look helpless without him, nor do I want to doubt someone who has with me right now. let that be my story and story in my old age, and will be the next and future lesson in my life, that love doesn't always go together right, but love always has meaning in every journey.

Acceptance Level

It's not easy for anyone to be faced with the reality that this reality is not the reality that you want to happen. living the days that are thought to be easy and definitely strong to live it turns out that inside it is like fragile. I really want to tell such a long story with someone who is trusted for what they feel, again, I'm the only one who can only keep it to myself. I have never felt this sad for anyone or with anyone before, but why when I heard this news my heart felt like something was missing in my soul.

February 4, 2023, where my birth day is also a historic day for him, and can be a day of sadness in my life every year, how come not everything is really beyond my prejudices which I never expected at all. but God stated otherwise, the happiness that I thought could come true for me, it all changed after hearing the news. but it's okay, I will keep it all in my heart, I will bury all the beautiful memories deep in my heart. it's enough for me to keep it for myself. maybe because her figure meant too much in my life that it was as if I had not accepted the situation at that time, but now I realize that love will find its own way, and she is not my way, she chose a different path.

It's true, no matter how strong, no matter how worthy I am to be able to be with him, if it's not the line of destiny, then still the hope of being united and together it won't happen, God, thank you for presenting his figure in my life as a lesson in this life. from him I learned the meaning of hard work, appreciating hard work, loving sentient beings and patience. believe me one day I will still always love him and will always love him in the deepest space of my heart.

if we are not united in this world I always ask God one day we can be together in heaven later, in this life I don't ask for position, wealth, wealth that's not what I want, I set aside my ambition for that, what I want as long as it is to feel that lost happiness.

2017 was the most memorable year of my life but 2019 was the saddest year and turned that happiness into loss, and 2023 was the year when I had to explore the highest level of love, namely the level of acceptance.

Jakarta, 4 May 2023

The Story Behind the Decision Remains

Sometimes I don't understand what happened after this. Live in various expectations, but difficult to make happen. By no means, I'm pessimistic, not but circumstances and facts that are impartial. People say, it's only a matter of time, and everything will be erased by itself. Is it possible that the memories that have been intertwined also dissolve in his tracks? I've felt it, now I'm like in a position that has given up trying to delete it.

If it's a matter of time, why 1, to 2 years it all feels the same. Even dreams, inviting me to make peace like 4 years ago. Once again, I realized and woke up it was just a hallucination/sleep. I thought, why does it have to be like this? Am I wrong, am I the one who decided destiny. Or, indeed this is destiny, but. If fate, why should be met with a storyline like this?

As time passed, everything went well. Mutual denial, among other things. I'm learning to let go, little by little, that's my effort, that's my effort. I think after I do it, the circumstances and what's in my heart will change. Turns out I was wrong, everything is still the same until now. Sometimes I also do not understand, why it could be this long.

Moreover I feel, like I do not see a fault in him. Even though I am aware, and know very well, what is in his mind and purpose, is not something that is not good.

Was it because I was too sure, that my beliefs broke me myself. And now the path is different, both me and him have a different life.

One of us, does not want to hurt anyone.

I don't even understand, everything that's been buried for a long time, and whatever I know. Is this a trap in my mind, or not. Whatever it is, all will not change the situation. Everything will be fine, and I'm sure. One day, both me and him. Will find certain happiness, Even though everything is only visible from a distance.

Jakarta, 10 July 2021.

TATA CARA PENGGUNAAN MENDELEY. (PART 4)

4. Berbagi Dokumen dan Referensi 

Membuat Grup 

Grup adalah cara mudah bagi Anda untuk berkolaborasi dengan Anda rekan kerja dan berbagi koleksi dokumen. Setiap anggota dari grup dapat mengunggah dokumen ke dalamnya. Anda dapat membuat file grup dengan mengklik "Buat Grup" di panel sebelah kiri.

Setelah Anda mengklik "Buat Grup", dialog yang meminta Anda untuk memasukkan detail dari grup Anda akan muncul.

1. Nama grup memungkinkan Anda menentukan nama untuk grup Anda.

2. Deskripsi grup memungkinkan Anda memasukkan detail tentang grup. 

3. Bagian Pengaturan privasi memungkinkan Anda memilih jenis grup yang ingin Anda buat (Lihat di bawah). 

4. Untuk menambahkan Tag, atau untuk menetapkan disiplin penelitian ke grup Anda (secara default, ini milik Anda disiplin sendiri) klik Tambah info tambahan.

5. Klik Buat Grup untuk menyelesaikan. 

Catatan: Anda dapat meninjau pengaturan ini nanti dengan mengklik "Edit pengaturan". 

Ada tiga jenis kelompok: 

1. Grup Pribadi - Ini adalah grup khusus undangan yang kontennya hanya dapat dilihat oleh anggota kelompok. Grup ini bagus untuk proyek penelitian pribadi. 

2. Grup Khusus Undangan Umum - Ini adalah grup yang dapat dilihat oleh siapa saja, tapi hanya anggota dapat berkontribusi kepada mereka. Grup ini bagus untuk daftar bacaan umum atau mengkurasi hasil penelitian lab Anda. 

3. Grup Terbuka Umum - Ini adalah grup yang dapat diikuti dan dikontribusikan oleh siapa saja. Mereka dirancang untuk kelompok diskusi terbuka seputar topik apa pun.

 Menambahkan anggota dan dokumen Setelah Anda membuat grup, Anda dapat menambahkan anggota dan dokumen ke dalamnya. 

1. Untuk Mengundang Anggota ke grup, buka tab Anggota. 

2. Anda dapat menambahkan orang yang sudah menjadi kontak Anda di Mendeley dengan mengklik "Tambah", atau Anda dapat mengundang orang untuk bergabung dengan Anda di Mendeley dengan mengklik "Undang".

3. Anda dapat melihat dokumen grup dengan masuk ke tab Dokumen. Menambahkan Dokumen, pergi ke grup dan klik "Tambahkan dokumen" di bilah atas. Kalau tidak, Anda cukup menarik dan melepas dokumen ke grup (baik dari Mendeley folder, atau dari mana saja di komputer Anda).

4. Untuk mengunduh PDF yang dilampirkan oleh anggota grup lain ke grup, buka Edit Pengaturan dan centang "Unduh file terlampir ke grup". 

Catatan: file PDF terlampir hanya dapat dibagikan di Grup Pribadi, bukan di Grup Publik. 

5. Untuk mengunggah grup Anda dengan semua pengaturannya ke Mendeley Web, tekan tombol Sync Library. 

Menggunakan Grup Tab 

ikhtisar menampilkan ringkasan tentang apa yang telah terjadi di Grup Anda. 

Kamu bisa lihat update siapa yang bergabung, siapa bilang apa, dan paper mana yang ditambahkan oleh siapa. Anda juga dapat memposting pembaruan status dengan memasukkan pembaruan Anda ke dalam kotak di bagian atas bagian ikhtisar. 

Selain itu, Anda dapat mengirim komentar dan mendiskusikan penelitian Anda. Cukup klik "komentar" dan memulai diskusi tentang topik tertentu.

Dengan Mendeley Groups Anda dapat berkolaborasi, berdiskusi, dan menemukan penelitian baru bersama dengan kolega Anda. Buat Grup Mendeley Anda sendiri hari ini!

TATA CARA PENGGUNAAN MENDELEY. (PART 3)

3. Mengutip Referensi 

Pengaya Word dan OpenOffice Setelah Anda memiliki dokumen di Mendeley, Anda dapat mengutip dan mereferensikannya di Word dan OpenOffice dengan mudah. Plug-in Mendeley Word & OpenOffice mengintegrasikan Mendeley ke dalam pengolah kata ini. Setelah terinstal, Anda akan memiliki tombol bilah alat yang memungkinkan Anda melakukannya mengutip dokumen, membuat bibliografi, atau mengedit entri apa pun secara manual, menghemat waktu dan usaha saat Anda menulis.

Saat Anda membuat makalah dan ingin mengutip dokumen dari Perpustakaan Mendeley:

1. Klik Sisipkan Kutipan di bilah alat Mendeley dalam Word 

2. Pilih dokumen di Mendeley Desktop, dan klik Send Citation to Word. Kamu bisa juga mengutip banyak dokumen. Cukup tahan tombol Ctrl (atau tombol Cmd di Mac) dan klik kiri dokumen yang ingin Anda kutip. 

3. Pilih gaya kutipan dalam menu drop down di pengolah kata Anda. 

Ini sekarang akan mengirim kutipan ke Word:

Anda sekarang dapat membuat bibliografi dengan mengklik "Sisipkan Bibliografi":

Kutip di dokumen Google (dan editor lain) 

Anda juga dapat menambahkan kutipan di editor teks lain, seperti Google Dokumen. Pilih saja kertasnya Anda ingin mengutip di Mendeley Desktop dan klik: 

Edit ➡ Copy Citation

Kemudian Tempel ke dokumen yang Anda buat. Cara lainnya, Anda dapat menarik & melepas file kertas dari jendela Mendeley Desktop ke dokumen, dan referensi saat ini gaya kutipan yang dipilih akan ditambahkan di sana.

Kutip menggunakan BibTeX 

Anda juga bisa mengutip dan membuat bibliografi dalam dokumen LaTeX. Mendeley Desktop membuat file File BibTeX untuk seluruh perpustakaan Anda, untuk setiap kelompok atau per dokumen. Itu File BibTeX masing-masing diperbarui saat Anda membuat perubahan pada perpustakaan pribadi di Mendeley Desktop. 

Tombol kutipan secara otomatis dihasilkan dalam format [AuthorYear]. Anda dapat mengedit kutipan tombol secara manual dengan mengaktifkan Bidang "Kunci Kutipan" di bawah Opsi (Tab Detail Dokumen). Kemudian Anda dapat mengedit kunci kutipan di bawah tab Detail Dokumen di perpustakaan Anda. Anda dapat mengaktifkan dukungan BibTeX di sini:

Tools ➡ Options ➡ Bibtex Tab

TATA CARA PENGGUNAAN MENDELEY. (PART 2)

2. Mengelola dokumen dan referensi Anda 

Gabungkan duplikat nama penulis, tag, atau publikasi 

Di panel filter menurut penulis / tag / publikasi, klik nama yang Anda kenali digandakan atau salah, lalu seret & lepas ke file yang benar untuk mengganti namanya.

Misalnya. jika Anda memiliki dua dokumen dengan tag "Bagaimana" dan "cara", menyeret yang terakhir ke yang pertama akan mengganti nama entri yang salah. 

Dokumen dapat ditandai telah dibaca / belum dibaca. 

Pantau kertas Anda yang belum dibaca. Kapan Anda menambahkan dokumen ke Mendeley ditandai belum dibaca dengan titik hijau kecil. Jika kamu membukanya dalam penampil PDF Mendeley mereka akan ditandai telah dibaca. Atau cukup klik titik hijau untuk beralih dibaca / belum dibaca.

Favorit 

Anda dapat menandai dokumen favorit Anda (atau dokumen yang ingin Anda lacak) ikon bintang. Cukup klik untuk membintangi, dan klik lagi untuk menghilangkan bintang. Semua dokumen favorit akan muncul di Folder Favorit, jadi Anda bisa lihat kembali mereka dengan satu klik.

Telusuri saat Anda mengetik. 

Pencarian cerdas dalam dokumen menyoroti istilah pencarian saat Anda mengetik, sehingga Anda dapat menemukan apa Anda sedang mencari dengan cepat. Cukup ketik di bilah pencarian dan lihat Mendeley menemukan kecocokan istilah dalam dokumen.

Beri anotasi PDF 

Anda dapat menambahkan sorotan dan catatan ke dokumen dalam Mendeley Desktop. 

1. Buka PDF di PDF viewer Mendeley oleh mengklik dua kali di panel tengah, 

2. Tambahkan sorotan dan catatan dengan mengklik Sorot Teks atau tombol Tambah Catatan di Tidak bisa.

Anda dapat membagikan anotasi ini dengan rekan kerja Anda. Untuk melakukannya

1. Buka PDF yang merupakan bagian dari Grup (lihat di bawah), 

2. Buat anotasi Anda, 

3. Sinkronkan anotasi ini ke Mendeley Web dengan kembali ke "Perpustakaan Saya" dan klik "Sinkronisasi Perpustakaan".

Catatan: Anotasi ini tidak disimpan dalam file PDF sebenarnya, melainkan di Mendeley Anda Akun. 

Untuk membuat file PDF baru yang berisi semua anotasi, Anda dapat mengekspor PDF dengan semua anotasinya dengan memilih: File → Ekspor dengan Anotasi dari dalam Mendeley Penampil PDF.

Urungkan beberapa tingkat dalam detail 

Dokumen Anda dapat membatalkan perubahan terbaru pada detail atau anotasi dokumen Anda dengan mengklik Batalkan masuk tempat biasa. Pilih opsi berikut di menu tarik-turun:

Edit ➡Undo

or Ctrl+Z (Cmd+Z for Mac). 

Tandai dan edit beberapa dokumen sekaligus Jika Anda ingin memberi tag atau menambahkan detail untuk lebih dari satu dokumen sekaligus: 

1.Pilih dokumen yang Anda inginkan untuk mengedit sekaligus dengan menekan Ctrl + kiri mengklik dokumen Anda ingin memilih 

2.Perhatikan pengeditan batch pesan konfirmasi 3.Masukkan data Anda Data tersebut bisa berupa tag, catatan, atau lainnya detail dokumen seperti nama publikasi. Misalnya, dalam contoh ini tag yang dimasukkan akan diterapkan ke semua yang dipilih dokumen.

Pengatur File 

Pengatur file Mendeley dapat secara otomatis mengganti nama PDF Anda dan menyimpannya di folder yang jelas struktur, sehingga lebih mudah untuk menemukan file Anda di luar Mendeley. Anda dapat menemukannya di sini:

Tools ➡Options File ➡ Organizer tab

atau untuk Mac pilih : Mendeley ➡ Preferences ➡ File Organizer tab. 

Di tab, pilih: 

1. Atur file saya: untuk membuat file salinan semua dokumen ditambahkan ke Mendeley dalam satu folder 

2. Urutkan file ke dalam subfolder: untuk buat struktur folder berdasarkan dokumen yang dipilih detailnya 

3. Ubah nama file dokumen: menjadi ganti nama yang sering bukan nama deskriptif Anda PDF ke nama file yang lebih bermakna, termasuk penulis, jurnal, tahun, dan judul.