Acceptance Level

It's not easy for anyone to be faced with the reality that this reality is not the reality that you want to happen. living the days that are thought to be easy and definitely strong to live it turns out that inside it is like fragile. I really want to tell such a long story with someone who is trusted for what they feel, again, I'm the only one who can only keep it to myself. I have never felt this sad for anyone or with anyone before, but why when I heard this news my heart felt like something was missing in my soul.

February 4, 2023, where my birth day is also a historic day for him, and can be a day of sadness in my life every year, how come not everything is really beyond my prejudices which I never expected at all. but God stated otherwise, the happiness that I thought could come true for me, it all changed after hearing the news. but it's okay, I will keep it all in my heart, I will bury all the beautiful memories deep in my heart. it's enough for me to keep it for myself. maybe because her figure meant too much in my life that it was as if I had not accepted the situation at that time, but now I realize that love will find its own way, and she is not my way, she chose a different path.

It's true, no matter how strong, no matter how worthy I am to be able to be with him, if it's not the line of destiny, then still the hope of being united and together it won't happen, God, thank you for presenting his figure in my life as a lesson in this life. from him I learned the meaning of hard work, appreciating hard work, loving sentient beings and patience. believe me one day I will still always love him and will always love him in the deepest space of my heart.

if we are not united in this world I always ask God one day we can be together in heaven later, in this life I don't ask for position, wealth, wealth that's not what I want, I set aside my ambition for that, what I want as long as it is to feel that lost happiness.

2017 was the most memorable year of my life but 2019 was the saddest year and turned that happiness into loss, and 2023 was the year when I had to explore the highest level of love, namely the level of acceptance.

Jakarta, 4 May 2023